First, learn to dance. ~ Sheldon Weitzen, social dancer
Welcome to How To Dance With a Partner. You will learn to lead and follow every step in every social dance.
When I was young, my dad asked me if I was going to a dance at my high school. I said, "No, I do not like to dance."
My dad laughed at me. He said, "That is like saying you do not like to play the piano. You have no idea what playing the piano is like. You can say you do not know how to play the piano, but you cannot say you do not like playing the piano. The same with dancing. You have no idea what dancing is like. You can say you do not know how to dance, but you cannot say you do not like to dance." He finished, "First, learn to dance then you can say you do not like to dance."
For the last few decades, I have been learning to dance. After a fling with disco in college, which I have not gotten over, my first organized dancing was Israeli folk dancing. The first thing I learned was to enjoy the company, enjoy the music, get some exercise, and have fun. Was that four things?
We went somewhere else first, but they just tried to teach us a routine. We like what you are doing so much better. You are teaching us how to dance. ~ Tabitha and Don, wedding dancers
Next, I tried salsa, during which the antecedents of this book were born. I made an attempt to document the complex choreography, but the book stalled. How we change as we grow. I like to think my intuition rightly understood choreography was not the answer. This book is the antithesis of rote choreography.
Along my way, I have found dance teachers to be excellent. Dance teachers are surprisingly consistent, regardless of the dance they are teaching. This consistency reflects universal truths about how two people move together to music. However, this consistency includes being surprisingly vague about communicating with a partner. Until this book, there was no set of precise rules defining how to unambiguously communicate in social dancing.
Nancy took me several times to four different dance studios. I learned more in one class with you. ~ Hank, beginning dancer
When I found myself taking on a leadership role in recreational dancing in my community, I focused on communication rather than choreography. In organizing the mass of information I had accumulated, a logical method emerged. I saw that communicating with a dance partner followed a few simple principles, easily learned by anyone, even novice dancers. I have codified these principles into the method in this book.
If you have not done so already, go to the website, print, and then memorize the rules. Take them with you when you go dancing. Refer to them often. Apply them however they make sense to you. This is the quickest way for you to get started. As you progress you will understand them better. They will guide you.
This book provides the complete method for communicating in social dancing. Included in this book are all the rules you need. There are no superfluous rules. You do not need to make up additional rules.
Sometimes you come across an extraordinary follower who can follow nearly everything you throw at her. Whether she knows or not, subconsciously she is using a simple set of rules that allow her to follow so well. Similarly, the best leaders are using those same subconscious rules.
Dancing happens too fast for conscious thought. People communicate using subconscious cues. This book elucidates these subconscious cues into an easy-to-understand language. The extraordinary effectiveness is a testament to the accuracy of the language. Once you understand the language, you can train yourself to communicate as effortlessly in dancing as you speak in everyday life.
This book provides an original, comprehensive explanation of how to dance socially with a partner. Some of the insights you learn include:
This is the rule book for how to dance with a partner following Andrew Weitzen's ABCDs method for social dancing. Refer to this book to clarify issues. If you find that needed rules are missing, unnecessary rules are included, or there are logical inconsistencies, the author welcomes your feedback on these, as well as other concerns.
An overview of the method of communicating every step is presented in the chapter Language of Partner Dancing. This prepares you for the details in the ABCD sections. Although each principle you learn is helpful, to understand the method in full, you have to make your way through all the ABCDs. Only then will you know how to communicate every step unambiguously.
This book presents the ideas in the order in which they logically build on one another. Read the chapters in order so you understand why the method works. Any information that is not essential is in the Appendix. This book is divided into these parts.
Part Overview - covers in brief the ABCDs that follow. You learn the objective of social dancing, the main problem people have in social dancing, and the solution to that problem.
Part A for Attitude - establishes the ten foundational values for social dancing. You learn to use these principles to help you apply what you learn in your dance classes.
Part B for Balance - helps you to understand your balance, the most important skill in dancing. You learn the law of balance with the profound implications for how you dance.
Part C for Connection - examines how you connect both physically and emotionally with your partner, the music, and your community. You learn the law of connection. You learn how to use the connection to communicate. You learn how to initiate the woman's movement. You learn the three positions, when to connect, and when to break the connection.
Part D for Direction - covers how to communicate what the woman is to do. You learn the law of direction, the deep revelation that allows you to communicate every step in every dance. You learn the three direction signals. You learn where the woman is to go. You learn how the woman knows to stop. You learn the reasons why you can communicate unambiguously.
Part Skill - continues the subject of balance. You learn the physical skills you need. You learn how to move your body to communicate effectively. You learn how to transfer your weight to control your step.
Part Summary - you have a short review of the essential elements you learned throughout this book.
Appendix - contains the author's bio, the rules list, terminology, and testimonials. There are discussions on a dozen different topics including Choreographed Dances, the Circle signal, Counterbalance, Musicality, Pressure and Tension, and more.
This book makes extensive use of basic principles to help you understand the reasons behind what you are doing. Pay attention to the principles. They guide you when you have questions. An example of a basic principle is safety first, do not hurt yourself or anyone else.
Key ideas help you apply basic principles. Understand the key ideas to put the basic principles into practice. An example of a key idea is do not apply force to another person.
This book makes extensive use of catchphrases to help you remember useful information. This book frequently expresses basic principles and key ideas as catchphrases. The catchphrases help you to focus on what you need to do. Repeat the catchphrases like a mantra. An example of a catchphrase is everyone does their own dancing.
This book makes extensive use of stories to illustrate the points in the text. Stories bring the key ideas to life, reinforcing your memory. The anecdotes, when not attributed, are the author's.
This book makes extensive use of quotations. With the exception of a biblical reference, I have used only those quotes that I have heard. The quotes are from my recollection, or possibly my wishful thinking. I may have taken some literary license. In some cases, I have changed the names of those quoted. The use of quotes is not an endorsement by any person of this book. The quotes have not been confirmed by those attributed.
Technical terms are defined throughout this book. You can find these definitions in the Appendix under Terminology. These terms are not capitalized within the text because too much capitalization disrupts the English reader.
At the end of each chapter is a list of the most important points to remember. Make sure you understand these before proceeding. Use these to review the material in the book.
Each chapter starts with a heading for the subject of the chapter. The heading is followed by a quotation in offset text. Throughout the chapter are topic headings. Under the topic headings, in offset text, may appear rules, definitions, basic principles, key ideas, catchphrases, anecdotes, and quotations. Lastly, in plain text, the author discusses the topic.
The topic headings throughout each chapter help you skim through the book. Each time you read the book, as your dancing progresses, you will have new insights. If you do not understand something, wait. When you are ready, what you missed will make sense. Like learning anything new, do not try to get everything. Try to get anything.
Training your body to dance takes time. For new dancers, if you dance once a week, you should expect to feel like a beginner for a couple of years. You only get to be a beginner once. Enjoy the process. Remember, everyone who shows up learns to dance, as long as you keep showing up. By following the principles in this book, you can be confident that each time you dance you get better by developing good habits.
In the salsa classes I was taking, all the women dropped out after level six. The reason they gave, "I just have to follow. I do not need to know any more moves."
Often there are more women than men in the beginning classes. Many women drop out of the classes when they reach the intermediate level because they feel they are only learning patterns. While technical skills should be learned from day one, often in lower-level classes, many students focus on patterns. You should not think you are at a dance class to memorize patterns. The patterns serve as useful pedagogy tools. Focus on skill, not figures.
In higher level classes, there are often more men than women. As the level moves to intermediate and advanced, the instruction moves from figures to technique. Rather than learning more figures, you learn how to improve the quality of your movement, dance more in sync with your partner, dance with more style, and dance with more musicality. The men that keep going to class move beyond the women that drop out. The women that drop out cannot keep up, though they may not know, because the advanced men lead to the level of their partner. Whether you are a leader or follower, if you want to improve, keep taking classes.
Do not worry about your progress. That is your teacher's problem. If you want to learn to dance, you have one job. Show up to class. Try to be coachable. Eventually, you will be dancing as well as everyone else.
There are wonderful teachers all over the world with an incredible wealth of knowledge. You can learn from everyone, even if you do not agree with everything they are doing. The burden is on you to seek what is right for you when you learn from others. Different people will speak to you differently at different times in your life. On your dance journey, seek enlightenment everywhere.
If you want to learn faster, seek out small groups where you get personal attention from the instructor. The fastest way to improve is with personal feedback.
Your teachers need feedback too. Let them know what they can do to make the dance sessions better for you.
The steadiest way to improve is to build your foundation. Work on your fundamentals. You will be well rewarded.
When I go to a dance class, I am happy when the teacher shows me something that I cannot do. I just found something I can work on for the next couple of years to help me get better.
The adding up of small advancements is how you improve your skills. At some point, you maximize a skill. After that, there is not much room for improvement. When you go to a dance class, if what you are learning is easy, you are only refining something you already know how to do. To get to a new level, you have to find something that is hard for you to do.
After dancing for years, I felt like I could do anything on the dance floor until I saw myself on video. To my embarrassment, I looked like a big block of wood. How did that happen? I felt so fluid.
You may be comfortable in your bad habits, but they are holding you back. When the music comes on, you do what you always have done. You have to intentionally seek out change. In a sense, you have to destroy yourself to reform at a higher level.
Andy, I find myself using what I learned from you everywhere I can, in the rest of my life too, not just at dancing. ~ Jim Rust, folk dance instructor
Learn from everyone. Think for yourself. People have a tendency to overestimate what they know, including me. I have not done a scientific research study. I am not a professional in biomechanics. The explanations in this book are from my own experience. They are only my interpretation. Still, the method in this book is astoundingly effective. Take these ideas on their own merit. Understand them. Be critical of them. Put them to work for you as you see fit.
This is a practical rule book for social dancers. The descriptions are technical enough for dancers to perform as needed. We have omitted technicalities that are not necessary for social dance instruction.
Tell them what you are going to tell them. Tell them. Tell them what you told them. ~ IBM training instructor
You learn by repetition. This book puts the method of repetition to use. The same principles come up under a variety of topics.